(5/29/05)
cultural cringe n. The belief that one's own culture is backwards and unsophisticated compared to other cultures.

(5/22/05)
hiss & tell n. A book or article in which the author expresses contempt for a person (or people) with whom they have had a relationship.

(5/15/05)
multi-facelifted adj. As in: "Starting with the bleached face, collapsing jowls and terrified eyes from Michael Jackson's mug shot, you might think you were looking at a multi-facelifted woman with a thyroid problem."

amenities creep n. An escalation in recent years, first noted in The New York Times, in the number and cost of conveniences in the guest rooms of hotels, ranging from the silly to the sublime.

associates n., pl. Thanks to companies like Wal-Mart, companies no longer have "employees"...they have "associates." (Of course, they are still paid like employees.)

blue-hot adj. Relating to the intense anger felt by activists within the U.S. Democratic party, particularly regarding the results of the 2000 presidential election and the Florida recount.

boomeranger n. An adult child who returns home to live with his or her baby-boomer parents.

bozone n. The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Brit-com n. Imported British television comedy that achieves cult status with U.S. viewers. BBC-America recently reprised its lavishly praised Brit-com The Office with a new special. See also: Absolutely Fabulous, Coupling.

Bubba factor n. The impact of the stereotyped unsophisticated, blue-collar, white southern male on an election.

c-level n. Refers to a company's senior executive level: CEO, CFO, CIO, CMO etc. (None of the above, of course, seen in a C-class Mercedes.)

cuddletech n. Technology -- such as the new Volkswagen or the iMac computer -- that is marketed as cute, friendly, or just plain cuddly. The new mini-mini iPod is the latest example.

diet cop n. a person who monitors another person's weight-loss program.

duppie n. A depressed urban professional. Duppies are often overeducated and underemployed...and flipping burgers at McDonald's until the job market improves.

dwell time n. The period spent by passengers in airports during flight delays. Congestion has lengthened "dwell time" about 5% a year since the 1990s. That leaves the typical domestic traveler warming an airport seat for 59 minutes because of flight delays, the usual connection problems and regular layover time.

exit poll n. A survey taken of voters after they leave the voting booth, famously unreliable in the last two presidential elections.

fabsence n. The dearth of exciting events in New York during August, with all celebrities and "fabulous people" away on holiday in spots such as Capri or the Hamptons.

fauxhemian n. A middle-class or wealthy person who affects a countercultural lifestyle.

flexisexual n. Straight man who flirts with gay men to secure attention, a job, or a bigger tip.

geezer glut n. The large number of seniors that will result as the baby boom generation ages.

gipperporn n. The 24/7, 500-channel media coverage of Ronald Reagan's death and state funeral.

Google stalk v. To use Google to research a potential boyfriend or girlfriend with the hope of obtaining information as to his or her interests.

ham n. Legitimate e-mail messages that get filtered or block-deleted in your attempt to separate the "real meat" from the spam.

hook & bullet bloc n. The hunters and fishermen in battleground states, targeted by Bush & Kerry in a "tough guy competition" during the 2004 campaign.

hurry sickness n. A malaise where a person feels chronically short of time, and so tends to perform every task faster and to get flustered when encountering any kind of delay.

irritable male syndrome n. Anger and irritability in men caused by a sudden drop in testosterone levels, particularly when brought on by stress.

irritainment n. Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, yet you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Michael Jackson trial recently joined the O.J. trial and Anna Nicole's show in the Irritainment Hall of Fame.

joy-to-stuff ratio n. The time a person has to enjoy life versus the time a person spends accumulating material goods.

karmageddon n. It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer...

Lexus lane n. A highway lane that is normally restricted during rush hour to vehicles carrying multiple passengers, but that can also be used for a fee by single-occupant vehicles

media echo chamber n. the tendency of media to react to its own reporting.

mezzabrow n. A person with middlebrow tastes that follow the current trends and styles.

mother out-law n. The mother of a person's former spouse, i.e. a former mother-in-law.

Nerdistan n. An upscale and largely self-contained suburb or town with a large population of high-tech workers employed in nearby office parks.

nontourage n. A group of undesirable sycophants.

playlistism n. Taste discrimination based upon other people's iTunes playlists. Related term: "iPod Envy."

policy nun n. 1. Woman who only engages in affairs of state. 2. Married to the job. 3. Condoleezza Rice?

post-mortem divorce n. A stipulation that one must be buried separately from one's deceased spouse.

Pre-Election Anxiety Disorder (PEAD) n. The hypertension experienced by hyper-partisans on both sides who are living in terror of their candidate losing on Election Day.

retrosexual n. A man with an undeveloped aesthetic sense who spends as little time and money as possible on his appearance and lifestyle.

sexile n. A college student expelled by a roommate who needs a little privacy for a few hours... or all night.

simonize v. To verbally bludgeon, insult or trash in a manner similar to the one perfected by American Idol judge Simon Cowell. ("Jennifer really got simonized.")

Stepford crowd n. A handpicked or invitation-only crowd chosen to give the appearance that a political candidate has broad and enthusiastic support from the electorate.

T.U.I. n. "Texting under the influence" -- sending ill-advised cellphone text messages while inebriated. (Usually to your ex.)

velcroid n. a person who seeks the company of the powerful or famous in an attempt to borrow glory by proximity.

Viagra divorce n. A divorce granted on the grounds that a husband is behaving aggressively or unfaithfully after taking Viagra or some other anti-impotence drug.